The Greatest Love

This new year let us not forget the about the greatest love of all. A love so strong that Jesus Christ gave his life for you and me. As we begin to celebrate this new year we should also celebrate new life.

John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

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Love This Holiday

This holiday season many people are alone, without love, without peace, and without happiness. That's why it is important that we are thankful for the special people in our lives. Those select few who make each and every day worth living, and make each and every holiday much more precious.

Thank God for love this holiday season, and that God that he loves us.

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Patience

It is arguably the most important part of a relationship. 

Patience by definition means,

The quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

The ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. 

There will be days when it feels like you have none at all, and others when you'll feel as if you have all of the patience in the world. When it comes to your mate it can be particularly challenging to deal with the ups and downs of a relationship.

So it is important to put patience in context. It is important to remember that as imperfect human beings we all require a certain amount of understanding. 

If you want your mate to be patient with you then you will have to be patient with them. Unless you aspire to be in a one sided relationship dominated by your needs, feelings, and emotions. 

One sided relationships never work.

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A Special Occasion

Every day is a special occasion. You opened your eyes, and you enjoyed the gift of life. You got out of bed with the full activity of your limbs, and you are blessed enough to have people in your life who love, and care about you.

Every day may not be a perfect day. 

But every day is a special occasion.

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ONE.

The magic is becoming one. Two whole hearts defying mathematics to become one singular being. A love so rich, and a bond so strong that it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. But maybe there was no beginning until they met. Perhaps the rest of the time they were just being shaped, made, and molded for their inevitable one, and then love began on its way to a place called never ending forever more.

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Unconditional Love?

Unconditional love. It sounds good in the context of a romantic relationship. But it is no more than a fictional idea. It is a concept used to create depth within this thing called love. 

But the bottom line is, loving someone in spite of what they do is not at all realistic unless we all have the inclination to reduce ourselves to living, breathing door mats. The fact is, each and every one of us has conditions on our love. You might say that it is possible to separate and love someone from a far. But it's just not sustainable. Everybody has a limit.

There is no such thing as unconditional love. But we must love unconditionally.

Meaning that we must condition ourselves not to do anything to put our relationships in jeopardy. We must condition our hearts and minds so that we don't engage in behavior that forces our mate to contemplate the validity of the relationship.

There has to be a determination to see love through with a tenacity and dedication that overcomes all of our doubts and fears to be triumphant and perservere.

There is no such thing as unconditional love but we must love unconditionally.

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Mandela

           PURE BLACK LOVE

                  ENOUGH SAID

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An Action Word.

Nothing in life that is worth having comes easy.

Such is love. Far too many people are so desperate for love that they create a version of it that is non-existant. But a version of love is not really love at all. Love is not something that can be tailor made from a longing to possess the emotion. Some, fall in love with the idea of being in love. But not all ideas are good ideas, especially if the object of your affection does not feel the same as you do. Saying those three words is a small part of love. 

Love is an action word. 

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Watch

These are profound rules to love by and live by.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become character.

Watch your character it becomes your destiny.

                                           -Laori

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JUST BE.

Sometimes its best to just BE. Don't try to figure your significant other out, or understand each and every subtle difference. Just love them and realize that there are some things about them that you will never understand. There may even be some things that you don't want to understand. But love them anyway. Trust me, whether you choose to recognize it or not, you are probably as much of a puzzle as they are, and maybe even a little more complicated than you think.

Do not expect to always be understood, and don't always try to understand.

Just Be.

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The Art Of Black Love

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. What does this picture say to you?

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Loving The Children

Black love is not just about couples, and adult relationships. It's also about family. Children are the ultimate expression of love. They are the living, breathing embodiment of two people joining together to create life. Children are a huge responsibility, and their development and maturation requires nurturing, caring, and most of all, love.

But raising children ALWAYS involves making tough decisions. Decisions made in love.

As parents we should not be afraid to make those decisions as long as it's in our children's best interest to do so.

The prison system is full of adults whose parents were not willing to make the sometimes, unpopular choices that would have changed the course of their children's  lives. We must always ask ourselves, what we can do to give our children the brightest future possible.

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3 Ways To Tell If He/She Is Into You

Sometimes love is hard to read. Anyone can say that they love you. But how many people really mean it, and how can you measure their sincerity. It's easy to get caught up in the physical aspect of a relationship and mistake it for something that it is not. So how can you tell if the person you're involved with is really into you or really loves you?

#1. They are not constantly trying to figure out ways to sleep with you. Actually people like this want to do everything, and anything to your body except sleep next to it. If they really care about you, waiting won't matter because they realize that you have so much more to offer than a warm body.

#2. They would rather give than receive. This is a sign of selflessness. Putting your needs before someone else's is the ultimate show of affection. 

#3. They listen when you need a shoulder to cry on. Listening is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship.

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Do You Realize How Rich Are You?

We all have money concerns from time to time. I won't use the phrase "money problems" because if you're able to pay all of the bills in your 3 or 4 bedroom house, and fill up your SUV you don't really have money problems, just money concerns. The problem is, many of us, this writer included, spend so much time being concerned with money that sometimes we don't realize how rich we already are.

We live in a "more" culture that never encourages gratitude, thankfulness, or contentment, and it is easy to fall into this state of mind. Whenever you find yourself thinking that your relationship or your life is not enough, think about this. There is someone in your life right now who would be glad to have your wife. There is someone in your life right now who would be glad to have your husband. Flaws, skeleton's and all. You may complain about being nagged or aggravated but there is a lonely woman raising children all alone who wishes that they had just a little help, and there is a man buying "home cooked" meals from Walmart who wishes that he had a nagging, cooking, caring, considerate wife, so that he wouldn't have to line up at the deli counter every night, and wake up alone every morning.

Riches are not always about money. But about the things that money cannot measure.

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Do You Like Who You Love?

We all know how important it is to love your significant other. After all that is what makes them our significant other.

But it is equally important that you like one another. Love and like are to different things, and love does not automatically equal like. It should, but unfortunately it does not. Many people fall in love with who they think someone is, only to find out weeks, months, or even years later that they fell in love with a figment of their imagination. They end up staying involved because they believe that the qualities once exhibited by their mate are just below the surface, and they linger hoping for a glimpse of the one that they love. The problem is, often times theiir significant other has lost interest in pretending, and have become settled in the relationship. Yet some, still hang on to hope that the jerk that they sleep next to every night is really the original that they fell in love with.

Mean while they have to put effort enough liking them.

Points to ponder.

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The Never Ending Night

Clouds draped around my body. 

That's what it feels like when you wrap your chocolate around me.

We start to paint a picture with slow brush strokes until we become a sleeping masterpiece.

I wake up wishing that the night would continue into the morning. But the clock is calling. 

We have 16 hours until we meet in  bed again. Makes me wish even more that last night would never end.

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The Piece

If you're still trying to put it all together, then how can you add a piece that ain't you?

It's kind of like wishing without work, and then trying to create something new.

How can you know what you want if you really don't know who your are?

It's kind of like opening your bare hands trying to catch a falling star.

Although it doesn't look like much, it's just too big for your hands to hold.

Still trying to use another heart to pour some life into that hole in your soul.

But guess what.......only you can fill it. Learn you, know you, love you, show you. There is no greater joy than being emursed in the whole, entire you.

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The Top 5 Deal Breaker's

Deal breakers are things that you just won't put up with. Knowing what they are is a sure sign that you are mature enough to know your limitations and smart enough to understand who you are. Some deal beakers are idiosyncratic, and depend on your personal feelings, and others are just so inexcusable that they are just unacceptable. Here are the top five.

1. Over 30, (I'm being generous), and still lives with his or her parents. This says a lot about about ambition, and drive or lack there of.

2. No job, no plan, and no idea how to get or execute either one. What kind of future can you possibly have with this person?

3. Secret children (self explanatory).

4. Having a secret lover, unless it is part of your deal. In that case, you need Jesus, and maybe some extensive therapy.

5. Androgyny. If they're not sure what they are or what they want to be there should have never been a deal in the first place. There is nothing more indecisive. Besides the only one who is allowed to be a little androgynous is Prince.

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God's Canvas

Your flesh is God's canvas, and he created a masterpiece.

So much more than flesh and bone, perfected hair and dark skinned tone.

You are that woman.

Thick,heart shaped lips pursed with breath too sweet to hold, waiting to kiss mine.

Curves made for my hands to touch. 

Body made for my arms to hold.

And words so sweet & tender that my knees get weak whenever you use them.

You are my meant to be.

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Who Loves You?

Anybody can say "I love you". But how many people really mean it? The fact is for every 2 or 3 people that you'll meet in your lifetime who make this seemingly sencere proclaimation, there will be quite a few more who will lie to you just to get what they want. Their love changes like the weather and blows like dust in the wind whenever it's convenient for them.

Ask yourself if this man only loves you when he's inside of you. Or if this woman only loves you on pay day.

If these are the only times that these people express their love for you, then they don't really love you, and your significant other doesn't think that you are significant at all.

They love you for what you can do and not for who you are. 

Those who really love, and who are in love with you, will love you even when you feel like you have no love left. When your broke, sick, and running on empty they will still treat you like gold, and truely love you for who you are.

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Listen

Life has its ups and downs. Some days are perfect and some days are not so perfect. So what do you do when your mate has a less than perfect day?

The first thing that you should do is listen. Listen without saying a word. Keeping in mind that hearing and listening or two totally different things. It's just that simple. 

Beyond that, there is nothing that can end a rough day like a warm lavender bubble bath, soft spa music, and a deep tissue massage.

Ignite the fire that melts their stress away.

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Don't Look Back

It is impossible to go forward looking back, there is no progress going in reverse, and there is always a reason why things don't work out. Stop trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole, and thank God that it wasn't worse. Your breakthrough is right around the corner. But not the one behind you.

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Love & Luck

I've often heard about people say that they have no luck with love, or no luck in love.

In my opinion, the concept of "luck" does not exist. It is no more than foolish notion closely related to hope. It's almost as if your leaving your life in the wind, and you go wherever it blows. 

Ladies, every man with a nice smile, who says the right words is not Mr. Right.

Fellas, every woman with a big behind, who does all of the things you like is not Mrs. Right.

Just because it looks good, sounds good, and feels good, does not mean that it is good.

If you keep falling for the same thing, and you keep getting caught up in the same relationship over and over again. It has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with you.

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10 Things To Consider When Choosing A Mate

#1. God. It takes a strong man or woman to surrender their lives, and unapologetically serve God.

#2. Love. Enough said. A relationship without love is like a bird without wings. It will never rise to new heights or realize its full potential.

#3. Honesty. You should never have to find out anything by accident. Someone who is truely honest will open up their closet door and show you each and every skeleton.

#4. Maturity. I cannot stress this one enough. Maturity is required to succeed at everything on this list.

#5. Employment. Love can't pay the bills or put food on the table. Only a steady paycheck or two will keep the lights on.

#6. Ambition. Do they want more out of life, and are they actively doing anything to get more out of life.

#7. Family life. The way they were raised, and who raised them plays a huge part in who they are. Pay special attention to how they treat their parents.

#8. Self esteem. It's impossible for someone to love you if they don't love themselves.

#9. Patience. Besides being a virtue, it comes in handy on the days when you're no so easy to love.

#10. Potential. But, potentisl can be overrated if you're not realistic. If you think that he or she has the potential to be a good husband or wife once they stop cheating, it qualifies as unrealistic potential. If this person has a profession or a skill that they are passionate about, and are ambitious enough to pursue it, that qualifies as authentic potential, and it is worth investing your time and your love.

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2 Different Kinds Of Crazy

 Yes there are two different kinds of crazy. There's crazy in love, when all that you can do is think about the one you love, and you know that they're thinking about you. Even when you're not thinking about them, you think about ways to make them happy.

Then there's the kind of crazy in love when you stand outside of someones house in the rain waiting for there company to leave so that you can play your position as second fiddle.

Choose wisely !

PR

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6 Ways To Make Her Happy To Come Home

Being married is an adventure. At least it should be. Sharing each others lives and satisfying each others needs can be difficult at times but those of us who are truly committed, stick with it, get better, and we become pretty good at it. I am not on expert on marriage, or an expert when it comes to women. To be quite honest they always have been and always will be a mystery to me. So rather than trying to unravel and decipher the proclivities of an entire gender, I decided that it was best for me to put my effort into the women that I married. Given the fact that she has not taken the kids and run away, or absconded with my vast fortune, I guess that I must be doing something right.    

Although women are different there are some things that are universal, and can go a long way when it comes to maintaining a successful marriage.   

But when there are children, work, activities, and individual personal issues involved it can be easy to lose focus every now and then. 

Here are 6 simple things that can help make her happy to come home.

1. Greet her with a kiss and or hug as soon as she come home. This shows her how happy you are to see her and how much you missed her.

2. Ask her how her day was, and actually LISTEN to the answer. Asking just for the sake of asking and not paying attention to the answer is worse than not asking at all.

3. If she comes in with a few bags, help her with them immediately. This should go without saying. But we don't always think about the details.

4. Always tell her how beautiful, pretty, cute, and gorgeous she looks. You knowing it, and her knowing that you know it is not the same as letting her know it. If you don't, somebody else will!

5. Help her with the kids. By saying "help her", kind of gives the connotation that the kids are primarily her responsibility. 

This simply should not be. Take the lead when it comes to the children sometimes. Cook dinner, serve the food. Read the kids a bed time story, clean up. Details!

6. If she says that she's tired, believe her. She won't always be tired. If she is, repeat steps 1-5. 

If that doesn't work.............you need more help than I can offer. Professional help.

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Picking Your Battles

There is no such thing is a perfect relationship because none if us are perfect people. With that being said, there will always be times when you and your mate will disagree. It is at these times that your love, patience and understanding will be tested.

If you're an adult, a mature adult, you understand that we do not love because we see perfection in someone. But we love because we have learned to embrace who this person is, imperfections and all.

Another thing that we learn is that we do not have to win every disagreement, or argument. Often times if it is not a matter of life, and death, or a disaster that will bring the world to an end, it is best just to let it go. Every potential battle is not worth fighting unless your intention is to go to war. We've all been there before. Most of us have argued and fought at some point with someone in our lives, and all it did was escalate and instead of accomplish.

This may sound like an odd comparison especially given the fact that it's a different kind of fighting. But in "Enter The Dragon" when Bruce Lee was asked by a protagonist what his style of fighting is, his reply was, "The style of fighting without fighting."

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It's

It's kept me up at night, and it's made me sleep like a baby.

It has given me complete peace, and it's driven me crazy.

Black Love

It has made my whole body feel warm, and at times sent a chill through my bones.

It has even caused me to be lonely, and to never be alone.

Black Love

For all of its subtle nuances, there is still nothing better than......sensual heat, wrapped in the sheets of.................

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Don't Look

It is easier to find love if you're not looking, because love just happens. Trying to make love happen is like trying to make sunshine. You can have the best intentions in the world, and still make rain.

Compatibility on a computer screen is way too logical for love. Besides, left to your own devices you might just find out how high the price is. When you believe what somebody says they are, and you don't really know who they are. No matter how much time you spend on Black Planet, you just can't plan it, and you just might end up with someone from another planet.

Look for ways to love yourself, and love will come to you.

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What It Is

Being Black in America is unlike any other experience in the world, and when you find someone to ride with you on this journey you it requires massive amounts of love, patience, and understanding.

Loving, when loving isn't easy, and giving when you feel like you have nothing left to give. That is true love.

Candy poured over bountiful curves wrapped in my ebony arms.

Engulfed in meant to be.

Living the dream that is you and me.........I've fallen, I keep falling, and I don't ever want to stop.

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A Good Man?

It's the same old song. If you were on the outside looking in at blackness you would think that there is not one good Black man left on earth. Partially because of the media. But part of it is because of the fact that it has become a popular complaint amongst Black women.

Each one accompanied by stories about an endless parade of loser's who sold them dreams, and ended up giving them a nightmare instead. 

While I'll be the first to admit, that there are a ton of jerks, psychos, cheaters, and serial heart breakers, there are also a lot of good black men out there.

Ladies you need to ask yourselves two questions

#1. What is a good Black man?

#2. Are you a good Black woman?

Some women wouldn't know a good black man if he came gift wrapped from Jesus and left on their doorsteps.

But it goes both ways. There is a whole generation of males, some of whom are way over 21, who do know how to be a half way decent man much less a good man.

So, how do you recognize a good black man? The most important part of Black love is loving yourself. Until you learn how to have a love affair with yourself, you will continue to look for that missing piece to make you whole. Many women settle for the loser parade because they don't believe that they are winners.

Opposites attracting is a myth. We are often drawn to what we know, what we can identify with, and what we are.

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Black Love

In order to know what black love is, first we have to understand what black love is not. Black love cannot and will not be found between your legs, and it does not begin with penetration and end in orgasm. 

Despite what you've heard, Black love should NEVER hurt. Being battered, beat and bruised is not what love is about. Love is not something that can be pounded into you by frustrated fists that don't have a clue. 

Why Black love? Because it has almost become something of a myth. With 75 percent of all Black households being run by women. It almost seems as if this special kind of love is headed for extinction. But the fact of the matter is that is still exists, it can still be found, and it can still thrive. Black love begins with loving who you are, embracing who you are, and appreciating the journey.

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